The StuSie

Eurovision Mocks Itself

I'm amazed it didn't happen sooner, but the Eurovision Song Contest has finally collapsed under the weight of its own cheesiness. I remember watching it when I was a kid and back then Ireland used to win all the time, but I still thought it was crap. It's like the Olympics, but with only Europe instead of the whole world and with shitty ballads and pop songs instead of running and jumping and the like.

This year the Finnish entry, Lordi, took home the gold, or the trophy or whatever and they're touting it as a victory for metal fans everywhere. Now that would be true, because as I said the Eurovision has typically been about who can come up with the sappiest crooner (Ireland) or the sexiest lip-syncer (Sweden or Greece), but Lordi are about as metal as Creed. They're a bunch of D&D nerds in monster costumes playing some of the most ridiculous music I've ever heard. They're as hard as Camembert on a hot day and the resemblance doesn't stop there.

Their winning song is called "Hard Rock Hallelujah" and contains such gems as "it's the A-rock-alipse," and "the day of rock-ening." I think they envision themselves as a sort of Rob Zombie-Kiss fusion, but the problem is that, as much as I hate to say it, both Rob Zombie and Kiss have at least an iota of musical talent. Lordi is a high school band that was in the right place at the right time and have ridden a wave of anti-Eurovision sentiment to the very pinnacle of mediocrity. But don't take my word for it, watch the winning song...

posted by Der Staubsauger @ 13:55