The StuSie: Der Krampus kämt!!

Montag, Dezember 05, 2005

Der Krampus kämt!!

The time is 18 Uhr and its the fourth day of Advent. The Krampuslauf is a tradition that goes back centuries, but that has only in recent decades enjoyed a resurgence in popularity. The roots of the Krampus can be found in the tradition of St. Nikolaus. Nikolaus' tradition has also been modified by American Christmas tradition into the übergewichtig, red-suit wearing, slave-elf-driving Weihnachtsmann, or Santa Claus. As with most things, we Americans have managed to pervert the hell out of something.
Anyway, St. Nikolaus is the traditional giver of gifts, and is always accompanied by a sort of train of servants. Among those are angels on the side of god, and Knecht Ruprecht on the side of Lucifer/Beelzebub/Satan/der Teufel. In a way the angels and Ruprecht are meant to symbolize the dichotomy of good and evil.
This tradition in Austria has evolved into a sort of early Advent parade where Nikolaus and his comrades first go to all of the villages' houses. While most European countries have depicted Knecht Ruprecht as a diminutive character with a black face from slaving away in the chimney (maybe loosely connected to our elves), the Austrians have decided that the representation of evil should be a bit more convincing. You see, the idea is that the little kidlets will be much more apt to behave properly if you threaten them with something a bit more frightening than a skinny chap covered in soot. The result is the mighty Krampus, who looks more like a hobgoblin or demigod or demon than a servant. So these much larger, scarier, hairier beasts go from house to house to give ill-behaved children heart palpatations at a very young age. The funny part is, grateful for keeping their little devils in order, the parents of these children award the Krampusse with a shot or three of delicious Birnenbrand or Zirbenschnapps. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that these alcohol-hungry, pubescent males cram as many houses and shots into one evening as humanly possible. As you may already have surmised, this method is a lot more effective than the American 'threat' of coal (which as you can see also comes from the Knecht Ruprecht tradition).

After doing their deed at individual houses, there is then a Krampusspiel, where Nikolaus talks about the importance of being a subserviant and god-fearing child. Then the Krampusse come out again and talk all about how they will decapitate, dismember, disembowel any child that so much as utters a discernable whine or complaint (actually they all have whips made of horse hair or small but painful twigs and they leave cute little purple welts on the kiddies tiny underdeveloped extremities). So after that, they go out into the crowd and whip people indiscriminately, young and old, because they've all been drinking heinous amounts of Schnaps before the festivities and somehow feel obligated as giant, hideous, warty beasts to release some pubescent angst on their parents. The Krampusse are accompanied this time by parade floats from hell: old-timer tractors pulling carts of fire-breathers and cauldrons of hellfire. Bells are ringing, and we here the snapping mouth of the Hobagoaß (see photo rechts). It's almost comical how this event is actually connected to Catholocism, because to me its pretty much the picture of Paganism.

So but while all this is happening I am reminded of the analogy of high school in America: you arrive as a 9th grader, young, inexperienced, and a bit intimidated. The seniors greet you at the door with malevolent anticipating smirks on their faces. They know how things transpire: after years of waiting and enduring the same sort of pain and punishment, it's their turn to denigrate and maltreat the young freshman. Much like the seniors, Austrian adults who have suffered under the hand of the Krampus zealously bring their children to the Lauf, knowing that this little bit of suffering is worth two years of reprimanding and 'corner-time'. It's all part of the beautiful Christmas tradition in Austria. Now let's all go to Vienna and spend all our money, because without our insatiable appetite for consumer goods, everything would promptly come tumbling down.