The StuSie

Tales of the Inexplicable

I can't decide if the media is just getting more desperate in their attempts to keep our minds off topics of substance, or if things really are getting stranger, or if I'm just loosing my grip on reality. I know for sure that I've used up all my eloquence for the immediate future on a persuasive brief that is now, thankfully, out of my hands. With that in mind, I'll let the evidence speak for itself by referring to the following stories:

• A 15-year-old kid in Nepal is being hailed as the buddha reincarnate what with his not having eaten anything in 6 months. He's been meditating under a tree, and he's not eating or drinking, although he has been bitten by a couple snakes. I once skipped dinner entirely, but I don't see anyone knocking down my door for a blessing.
• In far eastern Russia, squirrels are apparently so hungry they've started eating dogs. Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that people in China have been eating dogs for quite a while, and they don't seem to mind, plus, dog's gotta be better than nuts, so I don't see the problem here. If I was a squirrel, I'd have switched to dog on principal, so it's probably not fair to assume they're starving. We can now add squirrels to the "killer" list that includes bees, whales, birds, spiders, apes, clowns, robots, aliens, dolls, tomatoes and 50-foot women. Steven King is stoked.
  
• Dubai, in the UAE, has decided that what they really need is a ski resort, so they've built a giant refrigerated building with a slope inside where people can get their ski on. I don't want to be the voice of dissent, especially when skiing is involved, but given that an indoor ski hill is likely to be totally shit, it seems like they could've used the money for something else.
  
• India, not to be outdone by Nepal's prepubesent buddha/hungry kid have a couple of underage celebrities of its own:
• There's a 5 year old policeman, forced to carry on the work of his father despite the fact that his main concern should be not going poopy on the floor.
• Then, and I'm not making this up, there's a 3 year old marathon runner who runs distances of over 30 miles on a regular basis and has a trainer and has been in commercials and everything. Makes me feel pretty damn lazy, but then again I suppose the same charge could be leveled at Herr Buddha (above) since he's so apathetic he doesn't even eat. Officials are worried that the toddler/long distance runner kid is being exploited and that his antics might be bad for him. Hmm, I don't know about that, Indian Officials! I mean, if it was bad for him, why would he do it? I think decisions like this are best left to the individual infant, don't you?
  

posted by Der Staubsauger @ 08:48